Many years ago I gave a wedding shower for a dear young friend of mine who had been my babysitter. Since most of the guests were quite a bit older than her, we decided to take the opportunity to write marriage advice on cards as a keepsake for her. I contemplated what I would write on my card for weeks! I was the kind of wife that believed when my husband said, “Jump,” my answer was supposed to be “How high?” (Even if through gritted teeth.) I figured that the other ladies were going to put sweet encouraging guidance on their cards, but I felt the responsibility to tell my friend something about marriage that would give her a true perspective. I needed to give her the balance. At the time I had been married about fifteen years, and the best advice I could come up with I summed up with one word: “die.” Perhaps this sounds like strange advice to offer to someone that is just beginning to live her life, but that one word was all I wrote on my card. When it was my turn to read my advice, I looked at her and said, “Die.” I proudly told her that if she could learn how to die on a daily basis, she’d have a good and godly marriage.
As sure as I seemed to be about this key to a perfect marriage, I remember the biggest question of my life at the time was how do I live and die at the same time? Dying was what I thought would please God, but all that dying was draining the life out of me.
Fast forward several years to another wedding shower for my oldest daughter. I found myself in a deja vu experience at this wedding shower where most of the guests were much older than the bride, and the hostess had us go through the same exercise by writing marriage advice on cards. I listened as some of the women told my daughter in a variety of ways that she would need to learn how to die, and the sooner the better. I had the honor of sharing my advice last: and as I waited for my turn, I knew what I would share. My mother had gone home to be with the Lord just two months prior, and all her grandchildren had been able to witness my parents who, after fifty-five years of marriage, were more in love than ever. So my advice was a question, “Of all the people you know, who has had the best marriage?” My daughter instantly answered, “Grandmama and Grandaddy.” I asked her why. She said, “Because they had fun together.” I said, “Bingo.”
Can it be that easy? The first step is to know that you have already died.
…knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin. (Romans 6:6-7)1
(from pages 133-134 of Unveiling Jesus)
Want more from Tricia Gunn? Check out excerpts from the Unveiling Jesus 20-part series!
Unveiling Jesus, by Tricia Gunn, is a verse by verse study of the pure gospel of grace. It’s an amazing journey of love, identity, and freedom in Christ.
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1Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission.
